I don't really have a word that would describe yesterday. Terrifying is the best word I could come up with. I didn't have it in me to update the blog. To be honest, I needed to recover myself. Elijah was off all day. He wasn't talking to anyone, he refused to eat, and he didn't want to sit up at all. His breathing was very, very fast and he just looked like he did not feel well. I tried to get him to blow some bubbles and he couldn't even get enough breath to blow a single bubble. My heart was breaking. He was still dumping a very large amount from his chest tubes and they were/are talking about putting in a pic line because he still depends on his pacer and the line in his neck really should go soon.
We thought that if Noah came to visit, Elijah might cheer up. And he kinda did. During that same visit, the nurse increase the dose of a blood product (can't recall the name right now, think I may have blocked it). Elijah began to fall asleep while Noah happily played on Elijah's bed. Dion commented that Elijah looked as though he were shivering. I went over and checked on him. Not only was he shaking, but he was in the fetal position, stiff as aboard and shaking, all the while taking very short, fast breaths and making painful noises. He was unresponsive. My mom ushered Noah out of the room while the nurse got the doctors and she started to examine him. He would not move or open his eyes. His jaw was clenched. His blood pressure went through the roof and his heart rate sky rocketed. They thought that he was experiencing an allergic reaction to the blood product. But they weren't sure. They pushed benedryl and suddenly he spiked a fever. They gave meds for that as well. I sat there powerless watching my baby, my heart, suffer. I couldn't do anything but stroke his head and ask him to keep breathing. Terrifying.
It took a while for him to calm, but the meds definitely helped. His breathing was still really fast and he seemed uncomfortable, so we gave him some morphine. He finally rested. Unreal.
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