Elijah's Heart Journey: Fontan Day 1

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Fontan Day 1

So today was THE day. I have decided that the hardest thing in life, as a mother, is handing your child off to complete strangers fully knowing that they will cause your child hurt and pain and yet also fully knowing that there is no other option. This was by far the worst experience so far. I have been through this several times already and having a child that can voice his fear and pain is like having someone reach into your heart and tear it to pieces little by little.

All of this aside, the procedure was a success. The did have to give him a fenestration, but other than that, it was a typical Fontan. They were able to pull his breathing tube before returning to the floor, which was good. However, his heart is having rhythm issues and he is on a pace maker. They have restricted his fluids which is making for a very unhappy little boy, but they are working to keep him calm with medication. Right now he is resting comfortably. Lets hope for a restful, healing night.

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The Chosen Mothers by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy." "Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it." "I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you." No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps -"Selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them." She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side." "And what about her patron Saint?" asks the angel. His pen poised in mid-air. God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."