Elijah's Heart Journey: Cath Lab

Friday, June 13, 2014

Cath Lab

I hate days like this. I hate getting my baby up in the middle of the night. I hate driving in the dark to the hospital while he cries in the backseat. I hate going to admissions and signing all the paperwork. I hate the multiple waiting rooms they filter you through as they get vitals and ask the same questions over and over again. I hate trying to keep a scared little toddler distracted. I hate trying to smile through everything I hate so that the scared little toddler thinks everything is okay. I hate taking him to the surgery room and handing him off to the nurses. I hate waiting in a silent room for someone to come in and give me an update. Ugh.

And yet through all of my hate, I do smile. I do laugh and play and sing. I do because I have to. Because that is what that little boy needs. But man oh man is it hard. Please keep our little boy in your prayers today. He went into the cath lab about 20 min ago (7:30am) and he will most likely be there for the next 7 hours or so. He will be spending the night at CHLA.

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The Chosen Mothers by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy." "Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it." "I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you." No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps -"Selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them." She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side." "And what about her patron Saint?" asks the angel. His pen poised in mid-air. God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."