Nearing the Finish Line

Yesterday was a tough one. I had my typical day of doctor's visits. However, after I got there, I am informed that my OB, the woman who was going to deliver Elijah, no longer works for the office and has been replaced by two new doctors. How does that happen in one week time? I try not to panic, but I had finally adjusted to this doctor and we had worked out a plan and now this.

I am first given an ultrasound and seen by the specialist. He said things look good as far as Elijah's growth and his heart is beating well. However, I mention that CHLA had sent him the MRI results and he proceeded to disappear for quite a while. Again with the rising panic. I have come to discover that it is never a good thing when a test takes an abnormally long time or a doctor disappears for an extended period. When he came back, he had my nurse in tow and was trying to explain grey and white matter of the brain. He said that they found some abnormal signals in Elijah's white matter, but he really couldn't elaborate. The most he could say is that we shouldn't stress about this because it probably doesn't mean anything.  He went on to say that this is why they do the MRI. They want to know the abnormality before they perform the surgery so that they know the abnormality isn't a result of the surgery. Hmmmmmm okaaaaaaay. He then proceeded to tell me that the easy part is about to end (pregnancy) and the tough part is about to begin. Yeah, so that is comforting.

After this confusing experience, I am taken to another room to lay on a bed for the next 30 minutes while they monitor Elijah's heartbeat and make sure I am not having any contractions. He was a champ and his heart beat really well. I met the new OB who seemed nice enough and we discussed the upcoming induction. My body seems to already be preparing for birth so she thinks they may just start with pitocin. And now for the real kicker, they scheduled my induction for this MONDAY! Wow I was not prepared for that. It's not that much earlier than what we had originally thought, but it was a curveball. The one thing I thought I could control and I thought I had a plan for was this birth and now I had to start over and plan again. Talk about panic. Of course everything will work out, I just need to release the need to control things. Nothing in this can be controlled. Why can't I just accept that?